


Pen Pals

by Moczo, RadiantBeam



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Gen Work, hints of romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22780456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moczo/pseuds/Moczo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadiantBeam/pseuds/RadiantBeam
Summary: Even  in a land of spirits and magic, the most unbelievable of all fantasies is that your siblings will stop meddling in your love life just because you've moved out of the house.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney), Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 94





	Pen Pals

Dearest Darlingest Sister of Mine, 

As you aware, the day of my wedding ( _Wedding! Your baby sister is getting marriiiiiied! I still can’t believe it!)_ is fast approaching, and the task of planning a royal wedding of course falls to the queen. I had Kristoff handle most of the invitations (Bwahahahahahaha, he isn’t King yet! I may have him titled prince-consort just to toy with his head) but for the most important one, I had to do it myself and of course take the opportunity to talk to my favorite sister.

Soooo, You, Elsa of Arendelle by way of Northuldra, are Officially and Cordially Invited to the wedding of your dearest baby sister, and don’t you dare not show up! I know that parties aren’t your favorite, but you must must _must_ show up to this one, it would be ruined if you weren’t. The local kids miss your ice toys, and the local adults miss your ice dresses (Not like _that!_ I mean the ladies, you always look like the fairytale they wish they could be. Trust me, it’s been _hard_ trying to keep up to the standards of fashion you set for this office, you devil). Besides you can get here from the Forest in twenty minutes with your magic horse, you have no excuses. I definitely look forward to seeing you, and naturally the guest of your choice. 

You get a guest. One guest. You’ll sit with them and have dinner with them, so choose wisely. 

One. Guest. 

Of your choice.

It can be anyone. 

So, how is Honeymaren lately? She still dropping by your new place often? You never bring her to our weekend visits. You could, if you wanted, you’re the queen. Former queen. I still consider you a co-queen, really. If you wanted to do things like sit in the throne, or bring a guest, or a plus-one to my wedding, you absolutely could. I grant you that authority.

Please let me know if you’ll be at the wedding as soon as you can! And be sure to let me know who your guest will be! Your one guest! You’ll get a table all alone with her! 

… Or him. Because it can be anyone. 

Hugs and Kisses,

Anna <3 

* * *

Dear Anna,

I’m not quite certain why you felt the need to send me a special invitation, as I agreed some time ago to be the maid of honor. I felt like my acceptance was a sign I would be attending. But I understand you might be nervous regarding such a major occasion, so I will set you fears to rest: Of _course_ I’ll be there, silly. I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world, as I was telling Honeymaren over dinner just the other day.

I’m a bit confused, however, as to why you’re so insistent I bring a special guest? I feel like there really isn’t anyone who would come… I asked Honeymaren for her opinion on who I should invited as my plus-one, and she was very frustrated by the very idea. I’m not the most social person, as you know, so I haven’t made too many friends here. I was thinking I might bring Bruni? He does enjoy gatherings, though I think he wouldn’t need his own seat.

Which is good, because as the maid of honor, I would be sitting at _your_ table, Anna. With the wedding party. Which I am a member of. 

You do remember I am your maid of honor, right? I know you sometimes forget things if you fall asleep too soon after making decisions. 

Sincerely,

Elsa 

* * *

Most Dearest Sisterest Elsa-est Elsa,

Okay, first of all, rude! I’m the queen now, you can’t make fun of me for being forgetful, even if it is a teensy tiny bit true. But part of being royalty is that nobody is allowed to tell the truth about you unless it’s good. I could have you thrown in the dungeon, if we’d ever fixed it after that time you froze the whole thing and broke out.

We didn’t.

So, um, I guess I could have you thrown in a guest room that has most of the cushions removed. 

Anyhoo, of course I know that you don’t _need_ to be invited. I couldn’t keep you away if I tried (Literally, you can walk on water and the harbor is just _huge_ )! I just wanted to make this extra special for you, because it’s special for me, and I want my special things to be _your_ special things. I know that might sound corny, but you’re the only family I have. You moved out of the castle, yeah, but you’re still my sister. If I can’t give you a little extra royal shininess on everything I send you, why even be queen? It sure isn’t the throne, that thing _desperately_ needs new cushions. Why didn’t you ever tell me it needs new cushions? I’m a queen now and my royal butt hurts, and that seems unfair.

Besides, the real key point was to remind you that you get a plus-one! I didn’t think you knew that, because you were the maid of honor and normally the maid of honor goes with the best man, but our best man is a reindeer because my fiancé was raised by rocks and thinks that’s socially acceptable. Still, it will save on the dinner because roast salmon with citrus glaze costs much more than a plate of carrots, so I guess that’s technically a win for me. And for you, because it means I’m not going to make you sit with the best man all night! You can bring anyone you want! 

Anyone! 

_It can be anyone_. Anyone who judges you is getting locked up in the guest room with no cushions. So do as your _heart_ tells you.

I can think of someone reaaaaaally interesting you miiiiiiight want to bring, and it’s noooooot a fire salamander, just saying. Someone who might really enjoy sitting up there with yoooooou? You know them pretty weeeeeell? Someone cuuuuuute? I’m not trying to put any ideas in your head, perish the _thought,_ but there miiiiiiight be someone pretty hanging around that would enjoy the party?

Maybe?

Think on it. 

Wuvvles and snuggles,

Anna-banana 

* * *

Dear Anna,

I just wanted to be sure. I know you mean well, but you’ve always been… I hate to say ‘enthusiastic’ about sleep but I can’t think of a different way to put it. You’re the only person I have ever met that seems more tired after a full night’s sleep, and anything that you were thinking beforehand is just _gone._

Oh, hush. I can see you puffing your cheeks up indignantly right now, and it’s not appropriate for royalty. As your elder sister it is within my right to tease you every once in awhile, and I don’t know it nearly as often as I could. 

I look forward to our first meetings to start planning! Please let me know when it is. I’ve been talking to Honeymaren almost every day about it, and I have a number of ideas I think you’ll love. The Northuldra have a number of incredibly interesting wedding traditions, and I think incorporating some would really help show our dedication to unity with their culture. I’ve got quite a list, I’ll bring it with me when next we visit.

(Some of them you can’t use, though, she was very insistent she wanted to save them for her own wedding, so I’m not really sure why she shared them with me! Maybe she’s just never had a girl friend to talk about such things with. I hate to tell her that I don’t really know anything about weddings myself, so I just listen and smile and she seems happy.)

As for the odd subject of my plus-one, I’ll say again that I’m not sure why you’re so insistent about it. Why, I asked Honeymaren again who she thinks I should bring, and she was practically tearing her hair out in frustration trying to think about who would be appropriate! She’s such a passionate person. Still, I have considered it, and I was thinking that poor Sven will be all alone, so I might bring someone more appropriate to him. There’s a lovely reindeer cow named Vela that Ryder has been raising with tender care intending her as a wedding present to Kristoff (though I suppose she’d be more of a present to Sven, and oh my I’m blushing as I write this! You are a bad influence on me, sister dear!) to allow them to be the start of Arendelle’s very own herd. If we’re going to have a reindeer in the wedding party anyway, why not two? It might be funny, if nothing else, and another symbol of our unity with the Northuldra. 

(The Southern Isles will be sending an emissary to the wedding, I’m sure, so we should try to remind them that we have other friends and don’t really want them around. Not that I am implying that all their princes are like Hans, but I met four during my time as queen and all of them made my skin crawl. I think they’re going to be angry that the groom at the royal wedding isn’t one of them.) 

Once again, please send me your itinerary. I know we have a few months left of planning, but this is to be ‘the party of the century’ as I hear, and we should really get to work.

Love,

Elsa

* * *

Dearest Nicest Bestest Frostiest Sister Mine,

Elsa, best sister, please please please _please_ tell me you’re joking. I’m not going to say that Sven isn’t a well-trained animal… honestly he’s kind of better trained than Kristoff… but I _challenge_ you to find a bride that wants to include a reindeer in the wedding party. Adding a second one is not going to improve my mood. And, again, this is supposed to be for _you!_ It should be someone you _want_ to bring with you, not someone you’re bringing because the biggest things our cultures have in common are reindeer.

… It would make the Southern Isles uncomfortable, but that’s not a good enough reason. 

… You can bring the reindeer _and_ a person. 

Really, Elsa, this shouldn’t be so hard! I know there has to be _someone_ around there that you’d want to spend more time with. Maybe, I don’t know, someone you’ve already been spending a lot of time with? I know there’s a lot of really interesting ladies in Northuldra, and one in particular stands out to my sister, I’m suuuuuure? 

I mean, not that it _has_ to be ~~Honeymaren~~ a woman, because that would be pretty judgmental of me! I’ve just always thought that you seemed more comfortable around women. And you know, maybe that was just my imagination! If there’s a nice guy you have been secretly spending all your time with, why, that would be great too! I just can’t really see how you would have time to do that in between all your time with Honeymaren.

So, you know. If there was anyone who you have spent a lot of time with and constantly talk about and _pretty clearly_ just want to spend all your time with them? Someone sweet, and charming, and smart? And sweet? Who you spend a lot of time with? And they’re sweet? Nice hat? 

I’m just offering general suggestions. 

I want to make it clear here that I love you and all I want is for you to be happy. This is important to me because my wedding is a special day for me, but for _you,_ too! For years, we’ve been each other’s only family. When Kristoff becomes my husband, he becomes your brother-in-law. We’re both gaining family from this, and it should be a celebration for us both. So please, think it over, follow your heart, and do what feels right.

Soon.

Please.

Loves and snuggles,

Anna

* * *

Dear Anna,

You’re doing it again, silly! 

Anna, I really appreciate you trying to make your wedding about ‘us’ instead of about ‘you.’ I know I haven’t been to many weddings, but even I know that the bride who wants to share their big day with anyone is a rare thing indeed. And that’s what makes you special: you always think of everyone else before yourself.

 _Stop it_.

This day is for you, and nobody else. I’ll be happy just to see you happy, all right? So stop trying to make sure I have a friend there to talk to when I’ll be far too busy smiling to talk much at all! I’ve spoken to Honeymaren about it at length, and she looked so frustrated with your silly ways she almost screamed, but she doesn’t think your stubbornness is adorable like your sister and fiancée do. Don’t worry, she and I spend so much time together that I’m sure you’ll get to know her better just by osmosis. 

But! I do know you well, so I know that even if this idea of yours makes no sense to me, I’ll have to end up following it anyway. So I thought to myself, ‘You know, Anna is right. I spend a lot of time with the Northuldra, but how many of them do I really _talk_ to?’ I spend so much time in the forest communing with the spirits, or in Atoholan gazing into the past… I sometimes don’t really pay attention to the _people._ And that isn’t right. You and I are the bridge between spirit and human, and that means we each need to have one foot in each world. So, since you have at least a working relationship with the spirits, I need to try to… _reach out_ to humanity. 

Well, over our dinner last night, I talked to Honeymaren about it and made a list. I couldn’t write it down because there were only a few candles for light, but together we came up with a few great candidates. My personal choice would be Noatok, the person assigned to keep weasels out of my tent when the Northuldra make camp. Why, I literally spend hours with him every night when he’s outside the tent, but I don’t’ think I’ve ever spoken to him! I’ll just have to go ask his wife if it would be all right for her beloved husband to be the Northuldra’s emissary to your wedding party. I’ll let you know in my next letter how that goes! 

Actually rather excited now,

Elsa 

* * *

Dear Frosty-wosty Pudding and Pie,

WHAT?! No, you can’t… I mean…

He’s already invited!

Yup, him and his lovely wife. Can’t have a wedding without Notebook and…. Notebook’s wife, right? They keep weasels away from my beloved sister, so couldn’t help but invite them! They get to be guests of honor, even, their own table all to themselves. Far from the wedding party. Far away. 

… Weasels, really?

Anyway, you have to pick someone else, tee hee, sorry! But don’t worry! I’m sure there’s someone you know, right? Someone you talk to a lot? Someone cute and fun who you hang out with often? I know! Maybe you should have Honeymaren tell you who _she_ thinks should be hanging off your arm looking gorgeous at the royal wedding.

Or handsome.

Because it can be a guy if you want it to be. 

You should talk to Honeymaren, though. Really talk to her, not like, Elsa talk. I mean, she’s soooooo nice to you, she must be really sweet? Bet she knows _all_ about dating, hmmmm? And she’s reeeeeeally pretty. And you already get along sooooo well. Hmmm? 

_Hmmmmmmmm?_

Go ask her _opinion,_ and be… _direct._ I think you’ll be _surprised. …_ You _shouldn’t_ be, but you _will_ be.

Your Favorite Sister,

Anna

* * *

Dear Anna,

I know how it sounds, but weasels are a constant threat in these woods. They pester the reindeer, steal food from the stores, and absolutely will eat your bedding if you don’t watch out. Worse than Arendelle rats by _far_. And of course, since you’ve chosen to stop me from honoring the person who wrangles them for the camp, I needed to come up with another plan, and I think I have a great one. 

Honestly, Anna, at first I felt like you were making this far more difficult and complex than it should be. I’m your maid of honor, after all, and I would really, _really_ prefer to be making the wedding as good as it can be for _you_. That’s my job, you know. But since you seem unable to let go of the idea, I sat down and did my best to come up with an alternative to no avail. So, I took your advice! I went to Honeymaren one night under the stars, a silvery moon shining down on us, took her face in my hands, and said, “Honeymaren, I need to bring someone to Anna’s wedding as a cultural exchange, and she firmly suggested that I should work with you to pick someone out. So I would really appreciate if you’d help me go down the list of pros and cons that I assembled for all the members of the tribe and decide which one would be most advantageous to my duties as an ambassador to the Northuldra.” And what do you know, it worked! She wasn’t able to help right then because she seemed a bit sick (at least when I was touching her face, I definitely felt she had a fever) but in the morning, she sat there and helped me like a real trooper. Why, she was so dedicated to staring at that list and reading off the assorted qualities on it, I would almost call it mechanical. She really _is_ the sweetest, most helpful person I know. And thanks to her, I know exactly who to bring! 

Every full moon, for longer than even Yelana has been alive, a strange merchant comes to the Northuldra selling wares some call magical, or even cursed. Even when the fog was down, he had some secret way to enter the forest, I assume the result of many years exploring the strange and mysterious (he is at least ninety years old, but some say he has not aged in many decades!). Why, he might be able to tell me more about myself and the spirits, even! So, the next time the moon is full, I’m going to approach him and ask him if he would be willing to come to Arendelle, to your wedding, and share with me his story as a fellow practitioner of magic. To think such a person existed under my very nose, and I never knew! Just think, Anna, we could learn so much! He may not want to sit up at the front table… I understand he is missing an eye, and has a hunchback and warts, so he might be self-conscious about his appearance. But someone so ancient and wise may not even care! Yes, yes, this truly will be a celebration to remember. I can scarcely imagine how much I could learn and grow on this, your most wonderful of nights. 

Love,

Elsa

* * *

Dearest Sugar-puffed Snowy Sibling Supreme,

A… a hunchbacked old wizard that… that you’ve never met. That is great! Really! I’m so happy for you! Really, not lying! I’m glad you found someone just _good_ that you can… can be… _near._ I’m really… _enthusiastic._

I bet he smells of mold! So exciting! 

…

Sorry for the delay (tee-hee, not like you’d notice! It’s a letter!), I had to leave my desk for a moment to talk to Mattias about a minor issue with castle security. As you may recall, we had a number of ramps installed to allow our older citizenry to get into the castle? Well, it seems like just now, someone ran around the castle… our _home!_ The _nerve!_... and smashed every one with some kind of large hammer! I know, it sickens me too. A public project that we put such _effort_ into, to help our most vulnerable subjects! Well, you can bet that I’ll get each and everyone fixed. But I’m afraid with the wedding coming up, there just won’t be time until after. I know! It’s _terrible_. I guess that you’ll just have to, and I _hate_ saying this, choose a different plus one for the wedding. It’s terrible! It’s the _worst_. But I just can’t in good conscience welcome a guest to our castle in such a shameful state. Anyone who comes here should be as comfortable and safe as they are in their own home. You know, Arendelle is synonymous with warmth in the minds of our neighbors.

… Well, okay, these days we’re actually synonymous with ice, but… ugh, that’s not the point!

Look. Since you’ve had a couple of unfortunate false starts, maybe the best thing to do would be if I was to help you! You should come up this weekend. We can do the usual, charades, dinner, dessert, second dessert, and tell stories, third dessert, the works. And, you know, you can _bring Honeymaren._ She’s so sweet and charming, I bet she’d be _wonderful_ at party games! And we have a room in the royal wing where she could stay. It’s a good one, too… we haven’t put it to much use, but when we were kids mom and dad used to spend the night there when they wanted to avoid us for a night. Because it’s so isolated from the other bedrooms. 

No lights except for romantic flickering candles. 

And, hey, room for a couple people in there. You know, if she doesn’t feel comfortable alone in a strange place. 

See you this weekend!

Still Doesn’t Feel Like the Queen,

Anna

* * *

Dear Anna,

Ah.

I’m sorry. I think I misunderstood what you were really asking for. Don’t worry, I will be certain to speak to Honeymaren and perform to your _exact_ specifications from here on. 

-Elsa

* * *

Most Beloved Sister Mine,

_What the Goshdarn Forking Heck, Elsa?!_

Elsa, I know you're busy, and of course you have your own business to attend to with spirituality and such. If you ever can't attend our weekly meeting, you just have to say so! I'll obviously understand. However, I have to point out that when I hinted that you would be _perfectly welcome_ to have Honeymaren attend family gatherings

I was not implying you should send _just her_

**_And not come yourself!!!!_ **

Did you think this was a good idea?! Did you think that sending your friend to a place she’s _never been_ to spend the night with people she _barely knows_ would make her happy?! Because I’ll give you a hint, _she’s currently hiding in the bathroom._ Turns out the Nokk is _not comfortable_ to ride on for anyone except you, so when she got here Kristoff had to pump half a gallon of water out of her lungs, and then she screamed and ran away. We think she hit her head on a rock somewhere along the way and she’s hallucinating? We can’t be sure since she’s barricaded the door. We have Olaf trying to talk her down since he’s about as unthreatening as we have here, but she just keeps screaming and praying to the spirits for salvation. And we don’t have any spirits here, Elsa! You’re the one with all the spirits! Send Gale to talk to her, maybe? Can Gale talk? Make her learn! 

I… am trying to be _calm_ here. But I’m pretty sure this counts as my first international incident, and it also kind of ruins… you know. _Plans._

That I’ve _had_. 

Look. Look. I don’t know how your head works these days, but I’ll fix this for you. It’s no biggie! She’s fine, you’re fine, _everyone’s fine._ Nothing bad _ever happened_. By this time next week she’ll be back with you (on a _normal horse_ , I think she probably doesn’t want to be near water for awhile) and we’ll… we’ll think of something. I’m not giving up on this, Elsa. No matter how complicated it gets, I am going to make this _work._

_You can’t break me._

Why even,

Anna 

* * *

Beloved Queen Anna of Arendelle, First of her name, long may she reign,

In my defense your hints have not been _subtle_ lately, so I thought removing myself from the equation might finally get you to actually put some effort behind your words, because Honeymaren deserves that sort of effort. I do hope you've at least cleared this with Kristoff and he's aware of what's going on, and you're both lucky.

Very lucky.

Honeymaren is a lovely woman.

Really, the best.

Good luck,

Elsa

* * *

Dearest Most Elsa-est of Elsas, Best Elsa, Favorite Elsa,

Okay.

I feel like we need to talk. 

First, and foremost, your letters the last few weeks have gotten increasingly hostile and (haha) cold, and I’m not _entirely_ sure why, as I have been trying my very best to _help you,_ and while I’m not the best at it I have been really putting the effort in. And yet, rather than show any gratitude, you’ve been getting increasingly angry at me! If you wanted me to stop helping for some reason, all you had to do was say so. This passive-aggressive act is reminding me unpleasantly of the time you ran away and lived in a snow castle without telling me why. 

Second, and perhaps more urgently, is the question of Honeymaren. The thing is, and at this point I’m honestly more confused than angry: Honeymaren has visited Arendelle three times in the last three weeks since your previous short and mean letter. While I… guess this is a nice surprise, the thing is that she and I… while I think she's a fantastic lady (really great, and pretty!)… she and I are not actually _friends_. So when she shows up, soaked and terrified because the Nokk isn't really safe for anyone other than you to ride (and I feel like I told you this!) we really don't have much to talk about other than how confused and awkward both of us are, and how many bandages and blankets will be needed to keep her calm and alive this time. She is getting more used to the Nokk rides, at least, because she only hides in the corner bathroom for a few hours instead of her entire time here. But even so, I’m thinking she’s not having much fun.

She also steadfastly refuses to talk about why she's doing this, perhaps implying that someone has asked her not to. I have no idea whom might be encouraging her to do these things, of course, but she really needs to _cut it out_ because Honeymaren is slowly going insane and we can only have Olaf calm her out of the bathroom so many times, and she is drinking all the hot chocolate to stave off hypothermia.

Third, and finally, ever since her _last_ visit, there has been a blizzard over my bedroom.

 _Only_ my bedroom.

The week before June.

Is there something you would like to say to me.

Snuggles and wuvvles,

Anna

* * *

Anna,

I thought Hans was in your bedroom and you needed the help.

Oops,

Elsa

* * *

Dear Anna,

I apologize for my snippiness in my previous letter, it was uncalled for. This does worry me as I care about both you and Honeymaren, and it would really make me so very happy if you two got along. You're, well, you, and Honeymaren is a little on the quiet side but I promise you that when she warms up she's one of the kindest, loveliest people you'll ever meet.

Would Kristoff let you borrow Sven? I was pondering the times we've talked for what seems like hours, and she does enjoy the rides to Atohallan. Maybe you can take her through one of our forests by the castle? I've always found that sort of setting to be very intimate for just two people, especially with the physical proximity. I'll be in a better mood for charades, I promise. Spirit stuff, you know.

Love you,

Elsa

* * *

Dear Elsa, Shining spiritual beacon of our peoples,

The royal construction crews were kind enough to help me in breaking open your most recent letter after it arrived frozen to the royal postmaster’s hand, and I am forced to believe that you are, perhaps, upset with me. I want to specify that I do not, in any sense, dislike Honeymaren! I am not angry that you might want us to bond, because she's a lovely lady that certainly we should be welcoming into our lives.

 _We_ should be.

As a _family_.

Perhaps, just as a random thought, you might consider during one of your nightly dinners or weekly rides or during one of the ten-thousand stargazing sessions or during the daily tea or the flower-picking you apparently do every five minutes, you might, perhaps, bring up the concept of Honeymaren becoming more close to, say, someone in our family. And how maybe she might want to do that.

While holding her hands and gazing mournfully into her eyes, which you _can’t seem to stop doing,_ I need you to please frankly ask her opinion. _On our family_.

On which members of our _family_ she likes the most.

I think the _answer_ might surprise you, though I'm not sure _how_.

Snuggles and cocoa,

Anna

* * *

Good evening this is Honeymaren

We of the North use a different writing than Arendelle so I am not mastering your words despite speaking it good and I cannot have Elsa read the proofs because this letter is sending in secret

But with Elsa I am feeling you are upsetting her and also me so I have studied her books to learn of your runes to talk to you without being in your home

Please stop talking to her about me

I have ~~three~~ two ankles that are now sprained and also many strikes to my head from riding the Great Spirit of Water

I do not like charades they are a game for liars

Your talking snowman confuses me

I do not wish to visit your village again

I am aware I am a lovely woman with good skin and a healthy family and many would wish to court me but I do not appreciate it

You seem pleasant but your attention is not of pleasing to me as it takes my time from the herd and from the one I truly love

Also showing such attention to a woman when you are already planned to being married to a not-woman marks you as a harlot

Please stop talking to Elsa about me every time you do she makes me visit you and I hate it

She wishes me to bond at you and find happiness but I am happier not doing that

I will forgive your actions if you send surpluses of hot chocolate to our tribe it is wonderful

Thank you

Honeymaren

* * *

Dearest sweetest Elsa, Family’s best snowcone,

_WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!?!?!?!_

Love,

Anna

* * *

Beloved Queen Anna of Arendelle, first of her name, long may she reign,

In my defense your hints have not been subtle lately, so I thought removing myself from the equation might finally get you to actually put some effort behind your words, because Honeymaren deserves that sort of effort. So I made it clear to her what was obviously happening between you. What she does with that information is up to her, but I’ve cleared the way for you and I wish you all the happiness in the world together. 

I do hope you've at least cleared this with Kristoff and he's aware of what's going on, and you're both lucky.

Very lucky.

Honeymaren is a lovely woman.

Really, the best.

Good luck,

Elsa

* * *

Elsa of Arendelle, you _giant dork!_

I…. oooooh, I have not been this mad at you since the time you shot me in the chest! No, no, this is _worse._ I am going to shove your head right up your… your… your… _chimney!_ You unbelievable doofus, do you have _any idea… GAAAAAAAAAAH!_

I am getting oddly worded letters from Northuldra elders every other day telling me that they won’t be swearing sovereignty to Arendelle just because I’ve taken one of their people as my _concubine?!_ And on the _off_ days, I get letters from _Honeymaren_ , calmly reminding me that she finds me to be _uncomfortably forward_ and wishes to _never hear words of seduction from me again?!_

(Oh, and are you helping her with those? Her grammar is really improving, nice work)

Elsa. I’m going to say this in words that even you cannot pretend you don’t understand. 

_YOU. HAVE. THE WRONG. IDEA. ABOUT ME._

_AND ABOUT HER._

_AND ESPECIALLY._

_ABOUT YOURSELF._

_YOU NITWIT._

I’m going to be taking a royal carriage to the Enchanted Forest tonight, and we shall be arriving in three days, upon which I am going to pin you down and scream, directly into your ear, what I have been trying to _subtly imply_ to you for the last five forking months, because apparently that’s the only thing that will get through that glacier you call a skull! 

And then I am going to _punch you in the face so hard the other spirits feel it._

Snuggly wuggly huggly bunnies,

Anna 

* * *

Dear Anna,

… I just got your letter and I realize you’re probably already _en route_ , but I wanted to send this in the hopes it might reach you before you left somehow, and I could avoid being punched in the face?

Love,

Elsa

* * *

Dear Anna,

I love you very much, and so I forgive you for punching me in the face. I…

I may have deserved it, in hindsight. 

Please understand that being close to people, letting… well, letting someone open the door, is not easy for me. You know that better than anyone. It took me so long to let in anyone other than Father and Mother… and after that, to let in anyone other than you. Even when I became comfortable in my own skin, it was hard to truly bond with anyone. I was happy with just a few close friends and family. It felt comfortable. So even when I moved here, I didn’t think anything should change with that. 

But something did change, didn’t it? I didn’t mean it to, but it snuck past all my guards and just… just became something I can’t ignore anymore. I wanted to. I didn’t want it to be complicated. But that’s just the thing, it’s _not_ complicated. It was simple, and wonderful, and it made me feel happy and warm without me ever having to even put in any effort in. And isn’t that what we should all be so lucky as to find? I mean… I don’t know. It’s strange, certainly. I never imagined it happening like this, or with another woman, or… at all. The only thing I know about courting in general is a handbook for noble wives from 200 years ago. But I think… I think this might be real. I’m sorry to poor Honeymaren it took me so long to realize it and try to make something special from the base we built without even noticing. 

… I am also very, very sorry to _you_ , because re-reading your letters from the past few months, I… may have been something of an idiot. I admit you could perhaps have stopped hinting and just started saying when I was clearly in denial, but… well. That only goes… so far. 

Please don’t punch me again.

Love,

Elsa

* * *

Elsie Welsie Bellsie,

‘Something of an idiot?’ Hehehehe, well, you said it, not me! I mean, yes, I did say it, a few times, while screaming at you… and I’m sorry about that, but you got _really_ on my bad side, between trying to kill Honeymaren with water horses and leaving my bedroom as the palace’s new sledding space. I’m not sorry I punched you, though. My punches teach people the error of their _ways_. I bet Hans has become like, a farmer who donates to orphans. 

… Nah, I’m sorry about that too. I was really angry, but I, you know, should have considered that you were in denial. I thought I was just being too subtle for you, ya know? But I kind of forgot that I’m… _not_ subtle. I’m a cute lil’ red-headed battering ram. So if you weren’t catching the hints, it’s because you were running away again, and you needed me. And I wasn’t there for you.

And I _hate_ that!

I know it’s not in your nature to ask for help, but we all need it sometimes, so please. Please, if you ever have doubts, or if you ever wonder if what you’re feeling is real, if you have problems or if you _don’t,_ please talk to me. What I really care about isn’t Honeymaren (seriously, now that you’re finally really sorta-mostly dating her I can admit that I actually haven’t exchanged more than fifteen words with her? I spent two months thinking her name was Honeymustard until I started to realize you liked her from your incredibly gushy letters), it’s _you._

Whether you two break up after a week or get married for the rest of your lives, I’m fine with it. What matters is that you’re happy, and going for what _makes_ you happy. So please, do that. Always.

I look forward to seeing you two at my wedding! I’ll make sure you catch the bouquet. 

Love,

Anna 

* * *

OH GODS ANNA

ANNA YOUR WEDDING

YOUR WEDDING IS NEXT WEEK AND WE DIDN’T DO ANY PLANNING

I’M ON MY WAY OVER RIGHT NOW

-Elsa

* * *

**~Excerpt from the Royal Chronicles of Arendelle, the 1 st Year of the Reign of Queen Anna the First~**

**_Herein Contained the Chronicle of Her Majesty Queen Anna I’s Royal Wedding_ **

****

**_June the 21 st:_ ** _Her Majesty Queen Anna I awakens from her slumber at her customary hour of Noon, and reads the Royal Mail. She begins to Scream Wordlessly for several Hours, until Her Highness Lady Elsa arrives. The royal ladies retreat to Her Majesty’s private quarters, from which several more hours of Screaming can be heard. Prince-Consort Kristoff attempts to offer his aid, and is informed the Groom has no say in the Wedding, and besides if he really wanted to Help he would have Reminded the Queen as to the Date. He claims that he did, but she was so caught up in her sister’s Romantic Drama that she Ignored him, further insisting that she Never listens to his Good Ideas. He is Informed he will be Sleeping on the Royal Couch._

 **_June the 22 nd:_ ** _The customary Pre-Wedding Feast is Declared. The Royal Chef declares that with only five days remaining until the Wedding he cannot possibly prepare a Worthy Meal for two hundred guests. Her Majesty Queen Anna I, in her infinite wisdom and gravitas, declares “No, no, it’s cool, you just have to make dinner for the wedding party and bake the cake, I’ll get the rest of the meal catered.”_

_She is informed that no Caterers in the Kingdom would be able to make a full Spread for so many guests in a week while maintaining Quality, and replies, “No, it’s fine, I don’t care about quality so I will just order from the Olive Garden. You know, that big garden with all the olives outside of town, Gunnar owns it? He sells his olives for cheap.”_

_Her Highness Lady Elsa stated, “Nobody is going to like that, Anna, even if he does make good bread.”_

_Her Majesty Queen Anna I replied, “It’s my wedding, the guests don’t need to be happy.”_

_Long May She Reign._

**_June the 23 rd:_ ** _This day was taken up primarily by Her Majesty Queen Anna I, locking herself in her bedroom and Shrieking into a Pillow that her Wedding was of Insufficient Quality. She would not, in her Infinite Wisdom, open the door until Dinner Time, when Her Highness Lady Elsa provided a triple-decker chocolate caramel brownie._

 **_June the 24 th: _ ** _Royal Consort Kristoff and Her Majesty Queen Anna I engage in their shared bachelor/ette party, contained in a single room to avoid needing any sort of Planning, Guests, or Fun. They play Charades with His Grace Sven, Official Kingdom Deer, and His Grace Olaf, Official Kingdom Snowman. Queen Anna I wins because she is the Best at Charades, and not because everyone has the Vague Feeling that if she Loses she will go Absolutely Berserk right now, so take it Easy on her. Official Kingdom Snowman Olaf accidentally Reminds her that a few Months ago she had been talking about having a much better Party as well as a beautiful Bridal Shower the week before it, and he is thrown out the Window to what would have been Certain Death were he not a Golem._

**Note: We must think of a better way to chronicle the snowman and the reindeer before the last few years get put into the archives. Those are _not_ their official titles, they just can’t be, I don’t care what the queen says. Are they dukes? We could call them dukes. **

**_June the 25 th: _ ** _The Royal Dress Fitting proceeds as planned with little difficulty, because Her Highness Lady Elsa is capable of Creating Clothing utilizing her ~~Witchcraft~~ Shamanistic Nature Magic Tied to the Good of the World. Her Majesty Queen Anna I sobs tears of Joy that something has Finally Gone Well. Official Kingdom Snowman Olaf nods Sagely and says the Party the previous day was Terrible, a statement for which he is Kicked. _

**Note: OH GODS YOU MORON, DO NOT CALL LADY ELSA’S MAGIC WITCHCRAFT EVER AGAIN. Do you know what Her Majesty did to the last person who did that?! He still isn’t walking straight and he can only eat through a straw! She might look dainty but she can hammer-throw a thirty pound statue across the royal ballroom, everyone has seen her do it.**

**_June the 26 th: _ ** _On the Royal Wedding Day, Her Majesty Queen Anna I, in a fit of Diplomatic Brilliance and not because no Venue or Decorations were Prepared, chose to marry her Beloved Prince Kristoff in a spectacularly Rustic spiritual Ceremony of the Northuldra. To explain it in Detail Here would take several more Pages than this event has been Alloted, but suffice to say it included demonstrations of Approval from the Spirits, as well as a procession of Six Hundred Reindeer. The royal Cleaners are placed on overtime for the next Three Weeks._

_The ceremony was Lovely, and shall be Fondly Recalled by all in Arendelle as a shining example of Her Majesty’s glory. Long may she reign._

* * *

**Royal Addendum to the Annals of History:**

**You know, guys, I read this and sign off on it all before you put it to record. Whoever called Elsa a witch up there? Fired. Nice touch on kissing up to me, though, I like that. You’re good folks, except the fired one. Was it you, Sjetlaf? Looks like your handwriting.**

**So, you know, this wasn’t the best couple months. But hey, let’s focus on what matters, right? I’m married, officially married, to the _best_ guy. Sure, he really dug that crazy Northuldran reindeer ceremony and that made me question his sanity, but what fun is sanity, right? He loves me, I love him, and that’s what matters most of all. And I admit, it got kind of… _pungent,_ but Honeymaren and Ryder _swore_ it was a big sign of respect to a Northuldra chieftain. So, you know, it was really kind of a sign of respect for Mom? I think she’d have liked it. **

**Unless they were pranking me. But Elsa swears they weren’t, and I hope she can spot that by now.**

**Oh, speaking of! Elsa sat with Honeymaren at the wedding. _Whole time._ And I didn’t see anything juicy because I was really watching where I stepped, buuuuuuut, you know, after the party started, I didn’t see either one of ‘em out and about anywhere _I_ looked. Maybe it’s because the party was a disaster and everyone hated it, but I choose to hope they went off somewhere to start planning the next wedding. **

**Or at least start planning how to repair all the ice damage in my bedroom. Either or.**

**Huggles, Snuggles, and Lady Buggles**

**Anna**


End file.
